My greatest successes came from my two rock bottoms.
- The realisation that I was alcohol dependent at aged 33 and living a shite, unhappy, unfulfilling & lonely life. I cried a lot. Then gave up alcohol. Got help (therapy). Best decision ever. Changed my life. 8 year’s sober now. Amazing things have since happened which would not have if I had not hit my rock bottom.
- Then 2years ago, the realisation that my business was actually shite, unscalable, unprofitable and broken. So I fixed it. Amazing things have since happened which would not have if I had not hit my rock bottom.
See the common theme in both of these situations?
Amazing things have since happened which would not have if I had not hit my rock bottom
So don’t beat yourself up; just dust yourself down, learn massively from it, take responsibility for it and then do something different to get different (ie better) results.
YOU are the answer to your problems.
My life/health/relationships and my business wouldn’t have massively improved without hitting my shitty lows.
So remember, its all part of the process, its life, the highs and the lows – just take action to make the highs higher and lows more shallow.
I’m here to help.
“This is space, it does not cooperate. At some point, everything’s going to go south on you, and you’re going to say, ‘this is it, this is how I am’.
Now you can either accept that or you can get to work. That’s all it is. You just begin.
You do the math, you solve one problem, then you solve the next one and then the next, and if you solve enough problems, you get to come home”
As quoted from The Martian. I watched it the other day, Matt Damon stuck on Mars; after an accident, his crew presumes he’s dead so they bugger off and leave him. To certain death by all accounts.
Until he calms down, comes up with some ideas, applies some logic, focus and comes up with a plan to achieve things he didn’t think were possible. He makes progress. He fails. He refines and tweaks and keeps taking action. His success gets wiped out. He starts again. He never gives up.
He learns to communicate in a different way so he can get help. He learns and develops new skills.
The weaker astronaut would have been doomed. But not Matt Damon; he was physically and mentally strong and knew what he wanted. He wanted to get home. His success was getting home
He says those words at the end of the film when he’s lecturing some trainee astronauts. It’s an epic take home to be applied to life; just replace the word ‘space’ with ‘life’.
“This is LIFE, it does not cooperate……now read it all again.
So what is your version of getting home? What does your “success” look like?
- Do you even know what you want?
- Do you know how to get it?
- Are you physically fit enough to get it?
- Are you mentally fit enough to get it?
Or are you just a stranded astronaut getting up every day, existing in your own “space” and just hoping that a new day magically brings you what you want.
You are the answer and you have it within you to get ‘home’.
You are your problem and you are your solution. So get out of your own way and solve your problems.
It really is as simple as….
We have all CREATED the life that we are living today.
Your thoughts, beliefs, values, words, behaviours, habits, routines, reactions, environment – all yours.
Yes, there are things that are outside of our control, shit happens and life seems unfair at times BUT we can choose how we feel about it, how we think and how we act. This in itself creates a monumental shift in what happens next.
So, if you are unhappy or dissatisfied with something in your life, then you have the power to change this. Make things better.
It really is as simple as A, B, C.
A = Acceptance. Accept where you are right now and celebrate getting there – you’ve worked hard, you’ve done well so don’t beat yourself up okay. BUT know that you’re not 100% fulfilled or satisfied. Understand that things can be better and only YOU have the POWER to change this. Don’t dwell on the past, put your efforts into creating your new future.
B = Behaviours. Your new behaviours, your habits and routines, coupled with your thoughts and beliefs will bring you the improvements you desire. Do something different to get different results.
C = Commitment. Simply commit to doing the WORK, even when you don’t want to. This is ‘Interested’ versus ‘Committed‘. When you’re only interested, you’ll do the work when it’s convenient, when you can be bothered, when it feels easy, when you’ve got time. When you’re committed, you DO THE WORK every single day, no matter what, no excuses, you get up, dress up, show up and do the work.
ABC – keep it simple.
Remember to ask for help if you need it too.
As I walked with my eldest daughter Sophie, who is 5yrs old, I was amazed and inspired by her youthful joy and innocence with life.
A busy Saturday afternoon, we were walking to our local Sainsbury’s to get some ‘bits n bobs’ and she just merrily skipped ahead of me, weaving through the crowd but turning around and smiling every so often to make sure I was there and smiling back.
It was a moment where we were both present and connected; a beautiful memory was created.
It made me think about when we LOSE this innocence and the joy of life. When do we become so self-conscious and stop ‘skipping’ in life because we’re afraid of looking silly, of what the cynics, the critics, and the haters may say.
We’re only here for a short time, we need to learn how to skip again. Relax. Have some FUN.
We allow ourselves to get so overwhelmed with life; we get so stressed and anxious about a lot of stuff which is either our own bullshit we believe or we’re worrying about stuff that is outside of our control or hasn’t even happened yet (and probably won’t).
Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want.
I can’t recall who said that but I like it.
And instead of dealing with the negative stuff properly (ie asking for help), we just sedate ourselves through life with anything from drugs, alcohol, smoking, junk food, shopping, gambling, sex, porn, crap relationships, crap telly, video games, gossip magazines, excessive phone use, social media etc
For me, I will keep doing all I can to ensure I’m actually LIVING and enjoying being ME and enjoying the life I have CREATED. And that my own daughters are able to do the same. Keep skipping ya’ll.
So stop, relax, appreciate all the good things you have, stop focusing on the bad or what you haven’t got, and show some gratitude.
Schedule some fun in your life, NOW, don’t say “I’ll do it tomorrow” because you’re too busy.
Schedule TIME with your loved ones, be there and BE PRESENT– put the phone down, turn it off. Schedule a date night, do the school run, have lunch or coffee dates. Don’t forget your hobbies and a holiday.
And don’t forget you; YOU are your BEST ASSET. So look after yourself, eat well, hydrate, sleep well, exercise, meditate, be positive & grateful, keep learning and growing. And GIVE, help others.
Pay someone a compliment every day, even a stranger. Show your appreciation for others.
Try doing a RAOK. A random act of kindness.
And laugh. Everyday. Laugh hard until you’re crying- you’ll feel great.
Look out for me then, a 41yr old ginger bearded fella, just smiling and having a cheeky skip!
Helen Holmes Photography, fantastic local artist
Your daily habits and routines are absolutely critical to your success.
You need to own the day. You need to set yourself up with the foundations to have a great day.
Back in the day, I used to just roll out of bed and go through the day dealing with whatever or whoever shouted the loudest and being sucked into the dreaded emails, pointless meetings, endless phone calls and other people’s problems & agendas. But for the past few years, I’ve had a morning (and evening) routine which I keep tweaking over time to make sure it still works for me.
As far as morning routines go, you may have read ‘The Miracle Morning’ by Hal Elrod, a great book and I took a lot from it in developing my own routine. I also use the Best Self Journal. And other people, books, and training events have influenced my routine to find what works for me.
My own morning routine, I call it my FIRST THINGS FIRST.
- F = Fitness
- I = Inner Powers
- R = Reading
- S = Scribing
- T = Time
FITNESS = physical exercise every day. Gym for me (6 times per week) and even on my ‘rest day’ I’m doing body-weight exercise in the house (just some press-ups, sit-ups etc for 5-10mins). Find what works for you – running, walking, weights, rowing, whatever. Just exercise your body every day, it makes you feel good afterward. It’s a test of your commitment and discipline too.
Fitness also includes:
- Eat well (fuel your body with the right things, moderation folks, no endless junk)
- Sleep well (7hrs good for me, know how much you need to feel good/energised)
- Hydrate well (min. 2 litres of water per day)
INNER POWERS = exercise your mind every day. Meditation is the key here. It’s not hippy shit either, try it. It’s just sitting somewhere where you won’t be disturbed, being still and breathing. No Yankee Candles or burning incense required. There’s plenty Apps to help you, I started with Headspace and still use it but often just do it unguided now, it’s just sitting breathing after all but to get started, try an App.
Your inner powers are also your Beliefs, Thoughts, and Values. Here you can use the power of Affirmations and Visualisation. Speak/think positively about yourself and imagine what it is you want, see it and feel it and think how great it’ll be when you have it. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.
READING = Learning and Applying your new knowledge. Read every day, just a couple of pages in the morning, or listen to Audible, or a Podcast, or YouTube videos, or TedTalks. Self-education and personal development is the key to your success in life. I have a great book called The Daily Stoic which is one page a day plus I add in maybe a video or article I’ve previously saved, and when I’m in the car I always have an audiobook to listen to. Remember though – YOU MUST APPLY THE KNOWLEDGE. Pure consumption will not change anything.
SCRIBING – = Journalling and Writing. Remind yourself of your Goals, show Gratitude & Appreciation; write down at least 3 things you are grateful for, review your Wins and Lesson Learned from the previous day, get the random thoughts/ideas out your head. Do writing exercises like ‘Your Perfect Day’ – write down what it would be like – when you know this then you can work on getting it.
TIME = Plan the Day with Balance & Focus. How we use our time, how we spend it (or waste it!) determines our level of success in achieving our goals and driving change. Own your day or the day owns you. Work out your Most Important Tasks (MIT’s) – the things you need to do to take you closer to your goals. There needs to be at least 1 MIT per day (up to 3 if possible). Schedule your day to include all you need to do and want to do. Priorities are your Morning Routine (First Things First), then your MIT’s, then any other stuff like numbers, team, appointments, calls to make, emails etc. You may need to build some flexi-time for any reactive stuff. Be kind and don’t overcommit otherwise you’ll get bogged down and burnt out. Work in 90day cycles with a Goal and action plan to get it.
And remember to schedule TIME for your loved ones, for fun and for rest.
You can do it.