I used to hate public speaking and those lame ‘key-note speakers’, or those ‘motivational speakers’, bore off with your smoke & mirrors and humble brags!! Now I’ve become one, whoops. However I do it with warts n all education and entertainment, and take-aways such as a 30day Challenge ‘The Basics’ Journal.

But roll back a good few years and I avoided any form of public speaking as much as I possibly could.  I even refused to do training sessions for customers, on a subject I was very well versed in.  I feared I’d just look stupid, blush until my face melted and want the world to swallow me up.  But aged 33, I decided to get sober and tackle the things holding me back.

Quick questions:

1. Are you the life & soul of the party when full of booze but actually dislike the spotlight when sober?
2. Do you hate delivering or attending team meetings, training courses or networking events?
3. Do you need alcohol or drugs to become the confident version of ‘you’ that you think you need to be?
4. Are you actually happy with the life you have? The life that YOU have created.

I asked myself these very same questions aged 33 and my answers were Yes, Yes, Yes and No.

I then started a journey which I didn’t even know where it would take me but I knew I didn’t like where I was anymore. Being a speaker was not part of the plan!

In late 2009 I made some excellent decisions and took some action which dramatically changed my life for the better. It certainly wasn’t an overnight fix and it’s been tough at times, joyous at times, average at times and also made me feel scared and vulnerable at times. However, change is painful and uncomfortable; we get through it and get to a better place; this is the cycle of growth & learning, some days you just balls it up but you reset and go again, a wiser person. And the balls-up become less severe and less frequent, and you’re able to bounce back quicker.  Rough seas make better sailors and all that.

So my story of change and bettering myself led to people asking me how I did it, commenting on my new found happiness, opening up about their own struggles and asking me for guidance or support. And in March 2017, I was invited onto the stage to tell my story. Since then I have spoken for a wide range of audiences from recovery organisations, mental health charities, NHS events, the Girl Guides, networking events and also for private & public organisations.  It still amazes me!

I thought I knew it all; I’d worked for two other companies for 16 years, and as a Middle Manager for a huge corporate for the last 8 years of those so surely I knew it all.

Being an ‘entrepreneur’ never crossed my mind, I couldn’t even spell it (still can’t, had to Google it!). I had simply become unhappy working for someone else; the big corporate world had sucked the life out of me. So I decided to re-ignite my passion for asbestos and protecting people; I decided to take a risk.

If you Google ‘entrepreneur’ you will find:

“a person who sets up a business or businesses, taking on financial risks in the hope of profit”

In the hope of profit! Which is pretty much what I did at first – I ‘hoped’. I knew that I had the technical skills and the expert theory knowledge so I naively thought the rest would take care of itself and I would learn on the job; how hard can it really be to run a business.

Well it’s easy to be an entrepreneur; absolutely anyone can be one. But not everyone has it in them to be a successful one by establishing a business which provides the golden ticket of being predictable, sustainable and profitable whilst not sucking the life out of you in the process.  All business owners want time and money freedom.

Us entrepreneurs must be passionate about what we do in how we serve and the problems we solve for people. We must have faith, we must be absolutely committed, we must be risk takers, be visionaries, be optimistic, be positive, be hard workers, be adaptable to change and be willing to make sacrifices that most normal people wouldn’t. And we must have a plan.

It certainly wasn’t easy or stress-free but over 15yrs, my plan enabled me to grow my business from month one sales of £0, to annual sales of £4million and ultimately selling the business to focus on my new career helping others in life and business.

I will help you become a successful entrepreneur.

Being a Husband is magic. Being a Dad is magic.

They both take love & effort and fall apart quickly if you don’t value the relationships.

I’m on my 3rd marriage now and I’m still learning.  I know how a shitty husband operates that’s for sure; the old me valued the booze more.  But here I am on the other side of that, peace made with the past and being the sober version of me that I appreciate and love.

To feel the love of a solid relationship and a family created is a wonderful thing but it starts with how you feel about you.  The best relationship you can have if the one with yourself, at that point, you are able to give to others, to allow them in and embrace the journey of being a family.

I believe that being a parent is the toughest job that you love. And it starts before they’re even here, you’ve got to create the wee human and support your partner whilst it incubates for 9months.  Or maybe you’re navigating other avenues such as IVF, adoption or fostering.  Whichever way, it needs you to feel and be your best.

Then a small human is with you and life changes. You have to keep them alive, bond with them and become this overnight father-figure, whilst being the ultimate supportive partner. No pressure. It becomes a constant adaption period, one minute they’re this helpless bundle, you’ve found your feet, a routine, and then they’re crawling about, eating real food, walking, talking, questioning, learning and becoming all grown up.  The first few months can be a shock to the system, and I think the first 2yrs are the hardest, but its all so very worth it of course.

It’s all peppered with magical moments and memories. But some days your kids will test you and you pass the test, some days you fail that test. So we reset and go again, don’t repeat the same mistake.

“The greatest tragedy of the family is the unlived lives of the parents” – Carl Jung.

You must remember that you’re setting the standards, they’re watching you. Are you living as an example or as a warning to them? Have you got your 5 core foundations of life at a decent and inspiring level: your health, family, friends, work and wealth.

I always felt too selfish to have kids; I was too busy being busy at work and then in charge of my party-boy ways. Until I grew up and realised there’s more to life than getting blind drunk every weekend; there’s more to life than the hustle of work and building a career.

I’m the proud father of three absolutely epic kids.  And yes, they grow up so fast.  You don’t want to miss them growing up whilst your busy with your busyness.

A parent’s job is to show them by your example; to light and lead the way. Academic results can matter but the most impressive and important criteria is their character.  Warm character will lead to more success than academia will.  Support them, cheer for them, set the tone.

Our family unit is the best thing I have ever created. Being a Dad is a constant learning for me too; it makes you reflect on your own actions and attitudes, then refine and tweak as required in the hope that you are being your best every day to bring up the youngsters and free them into the world as confident, kind, honest, positive, educated, charming beautiful people.

Being a great Dad is effortless in a lot of areas yet takes great effort in others. Being aware, forever learning and improving, makes you a better person in every area of your life.