What we want in life is not achieved by doing what we want to do.
What we want in life is achieved by doing what we NEED TO DO.
And there is a huge difference in what you want to do and what you need to do.
So there lies the difference between success or failure in achieving whatever the outcome or the results you want. This applies to anything: your health, wealth, relationships, friends, family, career, emotional intelligence, spirituality, freedom, fulfilment, happiness, purpose etc
The things we WANT to do are usually easy, fun, exciting, different; or quite often they’re just habitual and we do them even though we know they’re not particularly good habits (smoking, drinking, bingeing, laziness etc).
The things we NEED to do are usually not easy, not fun, not exciting and they require huge amounts of self-discipline, effort, sweat, pain, focus and commitment to the desired end result or change. They are often not instant fixes and require a lot of patience and persistence.
There lies the problem for the majority of people. They start with great enthusiasm, effort and motivation but then that quickly disappears. You then must have the discipline to stick to doing what you NEED to do; not what you WANT to do.
If you’re trying to lose weight, it’s easier to do the things you want to do which, remember, got you the results you don’t want anymore. Like eat junk food, don’t exercise, don’t drink enough water, drink far too much alcohol, smoke, take drugs, survive on 5 hours sleep and excessive caffeine, etc. Feeling down = old habit reaches for junk food. Or perhaps you feel like you need a ‘reward’ for not drinking for 3 days or for eating real non-processed food for 3 days; so you reward yourself with beer, wine or biscuits because you WANT to. You don’t need to. See the difference.
An example for me, I go to the gym 6 times a week; sometimes I feel like I’d rather not. BUT those are the times when you NEED to go the most. By having the discipline and commitment, this means I always beat my inner voice that tries to come up with the excuses for me not to do the things I need to do (staying in bed is tempting isn’t it?!).
Or if you’re trying to save money and clear some debt; it’s easier to keep spending like you’ve got money on tap, buying stuff that you don’t need but it makes you feel better for like 3 minutes, then the guilt sets in, so just go and buy some more stuff. Vicious cycle repeats.
So just do what you NEED to do, as THIS gets you what you WANT.
Discipline and consistency with doing the simple things we NEED to do get us the results we want in the long run. Delayed gratification here.
By doing what you WANT to do, this actually gets you more of what you don’t want in the first place.
It’s as simple as ABC
A = Awareness: be aware of old habits and discipline yourself to do what you need to do
B = Believe: belief in yourself, you can do it, don’t listen to any naysayers; change is hard but focus on the process, not the end result, be consistent with doing the things you need to do and with patience, your results will arrive
C = Courage: have courage and confidence to try the new things. The inner voice wants you to stay in your comfort zone but you don’t like that place anymore, it doesn’t serve you now. So, the more you do, the more experience you gain, the fear fades and your confidence soars and your results improve.
Hope this was useful; it’s a reminder to myself too.