Gary is the burst of energy who guides and listens to you. Being a business owner can be frustrating and having the a person you can trust and talk through the day to day frustrations can clear the fog and get you back to your and understand your goals
How do you feel?
Regrets; broken; damaged; embarrassed; in pain; guilt; shame?
Do you live for the weekends – just existing through Monday to Thursday, always waiting for that Friday Feeling. The weekend cometh – we can party like the Lord Mayor of Party Town.
We can forget our lives (reminder – the one YOU have created) and hit the ‘Escape’ button; hit the ejector seat just for the weekend.
So you go out and get absolutely off your tits!! Some folks go out with this mission and they always succeed; whilst others might ‘go out for a couple’ but they always end up rolling around and off their heads. That’s because subconsciously, they were always going to get steaming drunk or in a drug fueled state of ecstasy. Deep down they want to escape every time.
Then the Sunday morning reality arrives and the big comedown hits you hard.
Yes, it can be loads of fun going out socially; with our mates, having the banter, meeting new people, creating memories and stories we’ll never forget. If these are your positive consequences of your social life then that’s perfect – keep doing it.
However, if your consequences are regret, feeling broken, damaged, embarrassed, guilt and shame then things need to change. Sounds like you are using your social life as a tool to escape your real problems.
My Sunday mornings used to be painful and emotional; now I love them. Sunday’s aren’t boring, Sunday’s aren’t just the day of recovering and lying on the sofa feeling sorry for yourself and apologising to people. Or cancelling your debit card because you lost it; or claiming on your phone insurance because you lost it; or nursing physical injuries.
Sunday’s are for living; being happy with your lot; being with people you love and knowing that you are creating a life that makes you love not just Sunday’s but every day.
Get Some Focus. Help is there if you need it, you just have to ask.
Did you know there’s over 6000 suicides in the UK every year? No, me neither. (latest published figure at 6188)
And 75% are male. With the highest number being men aged 40-44.
The most used method is hanging.
These facts are of course awful and it’s a staggering amount of people. And this obviously doesn’t include the number of attempted suicides or the number of people who self harm. Or the total number of people suffering from any mental health issues.
It saddened me this week to hear about the suicide of 41yr old Chester Bennington – Lead Singer of Linkin Park and father of 6. I was just saying this week to a friend of mine, how brilliant their latest album is (slated by their ‘elite old school’ fans of course).
41 years old – that’s my age. Blokes this age should be in the prime of their lives; the wild growing pain years are over, we’ve partied, gone nuts but now we’re wiser, more mature, secure, know who we are and what we want, surrounded by love, have kids (if you want) and doing something you love which provides a lifestyle you want.
Earlier this year, Chris Cornell ended his life (aged 52) and in 2014, Robin Williams did too (aged 63). People who are in the media are presented as being successful, loved, happy and have ‘made it’. Clearly they were in a very dark place and hiding behind a mask in public; they were also battling deep depression and using drink and drugs to cope. They have achieved lots but are clearly not happy or fulfilled.
We all have our own battles; it’s life. I’ve had mine and I’ll have more. My battles so far have included mental health issues and I got help. With this help, I also had commitment, discipline, desire and patience which resulted in leaving the dark place I was in.
I’m no expert but all I can say is – GET SOME HELP. Recognise that you are in trouble and shout out, just reach out for help. Reach out to me, friends, family or better still, seek professional help. This is a sign of strength.
We recently asked Gary to give a talk to members of Derwentside Business Network. Gary gave an honest, powerful, reflective and inspiring talk that made a huge impact on his audience. Gary was able to show how we can achieve a better life balance through simple changes to our lifestyle and our approach to business. Gary uses his own experiences to great effect and helping his audience to relate to what he is saying. Gary left everyone feeling inspired and highly motivated. We have had many requests to invite Gary back again and we’ll be doing that very soon.
Derwentside Business Network
We’re all ‘busy’ aren’t we.
It’s the new stock reply to “How you doing, you okay?” – “oh yeah, busy”.
“Busy” is not a good thing to be. We all have jobs or businesses to run but we must be in control of our days and we must never forget our WHY’s.
Why are we working the hours we do, who are we doing it for? If you’re a family man (or woman) then you’re doing it to provide for your partner and your children; to give you and them a decent lifestyle. However we must not sacrifice our time with our loved ones – don’t neglect your partner or miss your kids growing up. Sometimes in peak season you may have to but don’t make it the norm.
I missed our Sophie’s Sports Day recently; at the time I believed I was needed in the office and only I could deal with a staff situation. However in hindsight, I was totally wrong, I made a mistake, it could have been dealt with by a senior colleague and waited for my input the next day. I felt bad about missing out on seeing my eldest take part in all the events; seeing the photos made me realise I had my priorities all wrong.
Family always come first. Schedule time for them; keep the appointments like you would a client and never let them down.
The Sports Day was a reminder for me not to fall into the trap of being “too busy”.