In Durham, last weekend with the family, and we walked past a homeless guy.

Hayley, my wife, said that we should get him some food, great idea I thought and I was proud of her to suggest it too.

So I sat down right next to him, said hello and asked him what food he would like.

His answer:

“I’m not hungry mate, I’ll be honest, I just want alcohol. I’m an alcoholic”.

Now I did appreciate the honesty and I stayed and spoke to him for a bit.

He politely asked if I’d go and buy him some booze but I politely declined.

He told me about his life, his living arrangements, that he’d been an alcoholic for 24yrs, that he doesn’t see his child much, that he wants to get better and one day go into rehab but he CAN’T.

I told him about my struggles with alcohol and how I ended that part of my life 8.5yrs ago and things are so very different now. He said he wants to but CAN’T.

One day he’ll realise that if you tell yourself you CAN’T, then guess what, YOU CAN’T. Nothing will change.

But if you tell yourself YOU CAN. Then guess what, you summon the courage, the desire, the commitment to do the work. And things change. They get better. Slowly. But it gets better. A day at a time. Days turn into weeks then months then years. And that old version of you, that life, is no more.

Change is hard at the start,
Messy in the middle and
Beautiful at the end.

Don’t ever stay in a comfortable yet very painful rut of life. Get help. Do the work.