What even is a life coach?
Whatever it is, you don’t need one.
And you don’t need to read that book that was recommended to you.
Remember all those unread books still sitting on your shelf.
Remember all the books you’ve started and not finished.
And you don’t need to buy that new journal or productivity planner.
Remember the one you’re already using or have used in the past, or the one sat on your shelf unused, yet you’re still no further forward.
And you don’t need that new bit of wearable tech to read your mind or track all the epic data.
Remember the one you already have, and the old ones sat in the cupboard too, you do nothing with the data, though its nice to look at.
And you don’t need to do that training course.
Remember all the ones you’ve already done yet you’re still no further forward.
And you don’t need to get that qualification.
Remember that one you already have, probably related to NLP, yet you’re still no further forward.
And you don’t need to attend that event.
Remember all the ones you’ve attended, maybe even done a fire-walk, and got all excited and hand-clappy raa-raa whoop-whoop but still no further forward.
And you certainly don’t need to spend thousands of pounds on that retreat in Thailand.
All these things CAN be very useful in making progress and having ‘ah-ha’ moments of clarity BUT for many people, they’re just laziness in disguise. Endless consumption and avoiding the hard work.
And endless consumption leads to confusion.
You see, most of us already know what we NEED to do, or need to STOP doing.
But we’ve abandoned the basics, the fundamentals, the foundations upon which we build.
With zero foundations or ones that are wobbly as jelly, you ain’t building anything worthwhile, and if you do manage to build something worthwhile, its not going to last very long.
Everything must be centred on solid foundations which support you through life and all weathers and you maintain them and build on them continually. Building great strength, sustainability and resilience.
Don’t abandon the basics then expect a quick easy fix in the guise of a book, a course or a ‘life-coach’.
Or an empowerment coach, or a spirit guide coach, or a man-up coach – whatever they call themselves.
Hey don’t get me wrong, find a credible one, they can be life changers.
BUT firstly, consider your current results and ask yourself if you’ve done absolutely all the things in your control and power to improve your situation?
Your current results, the ones you’re not happy with, they are a consequence of your current thoughts and behaviours.
Your habits and your excuses are KEEPING you that way you are. They are perfectly designed to give you exactly what you have right now.
If everything begins with you, and your mind, then start there.
Ask yourself better questions to get better answers.
What exactly do I want?
What bad habits are holding me back?
What excuses am I hiding behind?
What hard work am I avoiding?
What task am I putting off because its makes me feel uncomfortable?
Why do I prioritise and value comfort, pleasure and laziness over being uncomfortable, challenged, courageous, focussed hard work and delayed gratification?
What makes me happy?
When I’ve had a truly fulfilling and productive day, what exactly did I do that day, am I aware so that I can replicate it?
What makes me forget time because I’m in the moment so much?
When was I at my happiest and why; what had I achieved?
Who has already achieved what I want to and how can I learn from them?
Money – spend less; set up a savings account, put money in it & don’t spend it, stop buying pointless shit you don’t need
Weight – eat less / eat better / move more / break out into a sweat / start with walking briskly every day or doing press-ups until failure, if you can only do 1 then do 1, aim for 2 tomorrow, 3 the next day etc
Health – quit smoking, drinking, drugging yourself to escape
Career – find a new job then quit the one you hate
Relationships – with your partner, act like you did on your first date; and at work, act like you did in your job interview and watch your relationships improve
Home – have a clear out of all your junk for starters
Most, if not all of that, will cost you nothing in hard cash, its just doing boring tasks. It’s making a more conscious effort and better choices; ones which aren’t fixated on emotions and pleasure-seeking.
You can also get access to your GP for free, you may get a Therapist on the NHS, and there’s things like free Apps, for Habit tracking or money-spending.
Your next stage might then be the need for some professional help like a Therapist, a GP, a Personal Trainer, or some form of credible expert to help you in a specific area of your life. Credible experts, particularly those that are specialists in the area you need, are invaluable and money well spent, be it a Therapist, a PT, a Life-Coach, an Empowerment Coach, a Release Your Full Potential And Inner Unicorn Coach or whatever the hell title these coaches call themselves – just make sure they’re credible with a proven track record of helping people like you.
But don’t even think about or talk to any professional until you’ve got your shit together on the bare bones basics. The fundamentals of some self-care based around feeling FRESH.
F = Fitness (just move will you, apply yourself, make an effort, sweat)
R = Recover (too much work will burn you out, make time for rest too, have some stillness, some alone time)
E = Eat well (far less junk, and eat your fruit & veggies)
S = Sleep (just sleep! get to bed early, get your 7-9hrs)
H = Hydrate (just drink your water, 2 litres a day is so easy to do)
You might just amaze yourself with starting with the basics, and you’ll soon be building on solid foundations and thinking “why didn’t I start this sooner”
There’s no magic fix. Just take better care of yourself and see how far you get.
Very often the answer is right in front of you and you just need to knuckle down and do the boring hard work every day.
Then once you’ve mastered the basics and reached some sort of plateau, THEN crack on with the next thing, the book, the course, the coach.
PS I write these as a reminder to me too.